thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
