ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
