I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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