the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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