saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
