Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
