so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
