i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You made out with two different species that night
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
