Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We had to coat check the pizza.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How external is "for external use only"?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
