Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
