Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
