is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
