you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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