Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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