just tell him i said nine months
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
