Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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