You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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