I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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