I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Quick, to the slutcave!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
