So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i think i have two assholes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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