i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
