? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
