I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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