I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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