I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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