I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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