True but thats because hes a fetus.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
