The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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