You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
