half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
