Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
