Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
