i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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