Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
