It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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