she was so not down for the gang bang
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
