we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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