i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
