Don't you send me to vm
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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