I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
