YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
