the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We left an ass print on the piano.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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