Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
