So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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