Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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