Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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