ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
