I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
