The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
