you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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