i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's just like the Real World with babies
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
