I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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