That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
