I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
