oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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