community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
